That's Right, Queen.

Ryan Gosling’s “I’m Just Ken” song from the movie Barbie, should not win a fucking thing. The whole message of the movie is that the game of LIFE is designed for Ken to win. Barbie can play the game, but she plays it for Ken. Everything revolves around Ken winning the game of life.

The irony of Ryan Gosling playing Ken to Margot Robbie’s Barbie and getting any critical praise is the worst. Even Gosling knows it’s the worst. His expression after hearing that “I’m Just Ken” won the Critic’s Choice Award says it all:

America Ferrera’s speech in Barbie says it all,

And what is being said is this:

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.”

---

This speech hits so hard. Right in the chest.

Be extraordinary but just know, you’re doing it wrong. And who loves to point out you have done it wrong? Men.

My entire career revolves around reading, reviewing, recommending, and promoting horror books.
When I share my opinion, there is always someone, usually a man, standing right there pointing at my own, personal, subjective, opinions to show me how I’m wrong. My interpretation of things, my preferences, my definition, the words I used, the feelings I had, the recommendations I gave… WRONG.

A man can do it better, bigger, and better. Smarter. Fancier. Stronger. A man can see what I have done and fucking bury it under the weight of their greatness. And other men will rally around him and lift him and tell everyone, from their chest, what a great job this man has done.

And this isn’t to say men can’t shoot their shot. But in a world set up—no, actually designed for men to succeed where women struggle, is it such a feat of greatness to have your opinions heard over a woman’s?

[laugh track]

It would be funny if it wasn’t so goddamn sad frustrating annoying common true. One time, it was the first time Stephen King personally and individually addressed me on Twitter. I tweeted that I was watched, The Thing. He asked me, “which version?”

Do you know how many men answered this question for me? If you said a dozen, you’d still be wrong. There were so many “pick me bros” clambering over the top of me to answer a question that wasn’t even addressed to them. I’ll never forget it. Not one woman did it. Not a single one. But King saw me.

and so did another fellow tall woman:

“You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for people.”

[open wound + insert salt + pour it in]

This is patriarchal nonsense right here and part of the infrastructure of the game is to pit successful women against each other and trick us into thinking other women are our competition. We need to rip each other’s crowns off our heads and take each other out of the game, that way… the men don’t even have to get involved. They can stand on the sidelines and watch (they love a good catfight) and then rush in like the white knight to rescue whichever one looks the weakest—not to save her, no…just so that they look good to whoever is watching. It is for him. Not her. Some women play right into the patriarchy and they don’t even know. *sigh*

Anyway, just wanted to vent about Barbie. How Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie were passed over at the Golden Globes and the Oscars.

Barbie is nominated for Best Film.

Gosling is nominated for supporting actor and America Ferrera for supporting actress but who are they supporting? Who is the lead?

Barbie. Margot Robbie. But she’s not nominated. Fuck this game.

But it’s OK. It’s just a ceremony, right? Get over it. *pats on the head*

They don’t know what we know. We are the women watching. The women who were sobbing in our seats in the theater on opening weekend. We felt seen. We felt heard. And there’s comfort in that kind of unity. We’re playing the game together, Ladies. I see you. Keep going. We win. All the time. We win for each other and that’s all that matters.

As Kristen Johnston told me, “That’s right, Queen.”

xx

And PS. See? We do win. And when we do, we make HISTORY. First Indigenous Woman to Win a Golden Globe.