28 Comments

I love this post. I'm such a homebody, too, and the idea of doing things like tours sounds so exhausting to me, so I don't blame you a bit for getting worn out! And I love your comparison of the social media posts to the "party fail" lol. It's so true! I'm not super active on any social media this month because I've been busy IRL, but I lurk a lot, and on Threads specifically (which has become my 2nd fav - bookstagram is my fav SM platform), every time I see an author post something like, "Well, I'm finally here, I guess..." it puts a sour taste in my mouth because you can tell they're not coming into it with the best motives. I know marketing is important for authors, but hey, if you're not feeling it, why force it? I've been trying to make myself be more active on Twitter this year but I genuinely HATE the feeling of that site nowadays and I finally accepted a month or two ago that it just is NOT for me anymore. Why make myself miserable when I could put that effort elsewhere? Sorry for the rambling, I got carried away! 😂

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No way! I love this comment. Threads is my second favorite too. I feel like it's a hybrid of Insta posts & stories. Like real time, fun stuff that people can engage with publicly instead of just a comment on a feed photo or the private DM of stories--does that make sense?? Lol

and just don't show up to platforms with this whole attitude like someone forced you to be there, I promise we don't want your exhausted unenthusiastic content either! Ha

Just like I'm not going to go to public events unless I really, really want to because it's such a huge sacrifice for me on a mental health level, you know? Off the charts anxiety management

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Yes it totally makes sense! I don't know if you ever were on Litsy but the vibe of the book community on Threads reminds me a little bit of that, only more active. It feels down to earth and authentic (for the most part) in a way that I don't feel on other sites much anymore. Less "curated" lol.

And yup I don't blame you! Big social events are stressful enough as it is when you're a homebody and introverted but I swear when you add in meeting "online friends" IRL there's a totally new element of anxiety to it, for me at least. Like I'd LOVE to go to a horror con and sometimes there are some close enough to me to make a day or overnight trip for one but I haven't gotten past the mental health aspects of it yet to go.

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OMG, yes! Less fucking curated, PLEEEEEEEEASE. I like just shooting the shit sometimes, you know. Twitter had all this pressure to say something...like maybe I just want to wake up and post that I think Cheerios smell like pee hahah

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Lmao now I'm not sure I can ever eat Cheerios again 😂😂

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I've been trying to expand my online presence into new territories recently. The party metaphor makes sense to me since I have issues socializing and being ignored both IRL and online is common for me.

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I always recommend people start on new platforms by just commenting on other people's content before trying to make any of their own, have you tried that? Building into the community first?

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I feel so seen and so at home reading this post. I had such a meltdown today morning about giving up on writing because it seemed why would anyone read anything I write because I don't tick all the usual boxes of authors and their large platforms, numbers on socials, etc. I am a hermit. I love connecting with everyone via Substack or Instagram but I think a major chunk of the publishing world is focused on numbers and not the readers. Both are important but I am a reader who never travels and all her favorite authors are in different continents! So what? Love 'em all!

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((hugs)) I do see you, Sayani and I hear you. Hermits read and write just like everyone else and I think social media really works for people like us because this is low risk involvement in community which feels less taxing on us emotionally.

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Thank you :)

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Spot on advice for any author. I do comicons just about every year as well as various events, and while I'm really good at them, they take an energy most authors are not trained to use. I have 22 years of theatre behind me and know how to be "on," but it is an energy drain on multiple levels. Excellent advice!

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Thanks, Tom!

ugh, it's so hard to be OUT there! It's safe and warm and less stressful in my house but I did have fun meeting my bookish buddies so that's one thing that made it all worthwhile.

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Hi Sadie

Wasn’t sure if this is the right place to post this, but just caught up on your chat with The Kingcast lads and really enjoyed your take on Lisey’s Story. It was a book that I had liked when it came out but had struggled with the TV show. After your recommendation, I’ll go back and give it another go

Also, nice shout out on “In the Hills, the Cities” which, coincidentally, I also mention in my article on Clive Barker this week 👍🏼

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Hi Daniel, this is an appropriate place to reach out, thank you! I'm thrilled to hear that you'll be giving Lisey's Story another chance to impress you. It hits different at different times in your life.

Also, In the Hills, the Cities is such an amazing story...the visuals stay with me.

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Everything is so well said! And I love your thoughts re: wanderlust vs staying home/cozy as well as the analogy about social media and bringing party supplies because it just makes it all make sense. And we are all seeing the same attitudes around... so... I think it works!

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home/cozy is just where I belong, and that's OK. But I will venture out so I can meet you! Stoker Con 2024 in San Diego is ON!

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Wow. You broke down every speck of that beautifully. And the section on social media "What in it for MEEEE?" crop-dusting as a poop-trailing party fail is succinct fucking genius. I wish everyone -- shit, ANYONE -- understood this game as well as you do. And having read your piece, maybe they will! Finally, thank you for your honesty and sincerity, which are -- for me, at least -- the wellspring from which anything with any lasting value must come.

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Wow, thank you. This means a lot to me, John. I hold your opinion in high regard, so your feedback has made an impact on me. I appreciate you.

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YAAAAAY!!! And that's how mutual admiration societies are born! Thank YOU!!!

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I figured out how to use Instagram thanks to Substack, since they manufacture graphics specifically for use there based on my stories. So I started on there. It's interesting.

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Currently travelling. I just did a day trip to Montreal (from Vancouver) on a red eye, followed up by a flight out to Cape Breton the next day. I slept for a full day afterwards. I’m outlining a new book - but in libraries and cafes instead of the desk and chair in my apartment. I’m fully caffeinated, to the edge of my anxiety. The bed I’m sleeping on is so hard it feels like it is making the blood pool on the side of the body I sleep on. The time zone is making mid-afternoon feel like midnight. I love and hate it at the same time. There is nothing like exploring a new space/culture but it is tiring.

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This is taking me back to my summer trip to LA and San Diego. I was gone for 10 days. The 4th day I had a little cry because I missed my life, my bed, my kids, my dog, and even just my own pot of brewed coffee...driving in Boston was one of the scariest things I've ever done. It made me appreciate putzing around in my own city where I know what I'm doing. I value home so much more now.

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I'm getting more into doing that, although some of them (e.g. Discord, Reddit) make it harder to do because of posting and content restrictions.

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Right. Have you tried Instagram? I feel like with the new roll out of Threads, it easier than ever to do both visual updates on the main feed and text-based updates through Threads. You can build community through both portals.

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Great post and advice.

I totally know what you mean about being a homebody. On a book tour now and missing my hubby, cats and plants so much!

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it's gonna feel so good when you come home! I hung on to that feeling a lot. I visualized myself back home quite a bit

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Oct 27, 2023
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Thank you for the kind words, Grace xo

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Oct 24, 2023
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That's the sad thing, to build a community on a platform and then the platform is destroyed and everyone goes their separate ways.

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